Who's there? Oh, hey, it's me, Janeen! Remember me? The fat girl on a mission to be healthy and make you laugh all at the same time? Yes, this is me. I'm still fat. I am almost ashamed to admit that I'm back to my original weight from when I started this blog however many months ago. I really makes me sad that I "stopped" doing what was working so well for me. Why did I do this? I could give you every excuse in the book: "I was sick." "Phil's work schedule changed so I can't make it to the gym." "It's too hot." "It's raining." "My kids are sick." But in all honesty, my only excuse is me. For whatever reason, I quit. I quit going to the gym (mind you, I'm still paying the fees). I quit eating healthy (sometimes). I quit going for walks. I quit! I QUIT!
I'm sitting here sweating. Not because I just got done working out, but because I'm really nervous to type these words out. I feel like I'm letting all my friends and family down. I KNOW I've let myself down. But, the only thing I can really do about it is get off my fat ass and get moving. Once Phil gets home, I'm walking down to do my cleaning of the bookstore. Tomorrow morning, I'm getting up at 6 am to go for a walk before Phil goes to work. I can have any excuse I want to NOT do something...but what is my excuse for making the excuse? I'll spell it out for you: L-A-Z-Y and probably some fear that is deep seeded in me. Maybe I need some counseling sessions. Anyone know of a good therapist? I'm not joking...if you know someone in our area, let me know (send me an email to janeenomdahl@hotmail.com) .
I need to know why I don't hold myself accountable. Why do I get all excited about something for 2 weeks and then stop. I do this all the time! I don't WANT to be fat, yet I'll eat a whole bag of chips. I know what I need to do to be healthy, but I don't use that knowledge to the best of my ability. I am funny, smart, outgoing, friendly, loving and beautiful, but why do I continue to treat my body this way? One of these days, I'm going to get brave enough to post some horrible pictures of myself. Maybe, just maybe that'll be the day that I really, truly will make the changes so that I will NEVER look like that again. Would you still love me if you saw what was hiding under my clothes? No, not my private areas, but my stomach? My gut? My saggy thighs? My jiggly arms? My back fat rolls? I sure hope so. But what can you do to help me? Nothing. There is nothing that YOU can do to help ME. Only I can do this. The only thing I need from YOU is unconditional support of ME.
I'm done for now...but I'll be back tomorrow. I will write everyday this week to tell you how I'm doing. Will you hold me accountable?
Janeen you are way too hard on yourself! I promise you that you are not the only one that has trouble eating right and staying motivated to exercise because I have that problem too. That being said I know we all have different motivators and if you think this will help motivate you then I say go for it! I will check up on you and also there are great free exercise/food intake apps/websites (I have an app called LoseIt) that help you stay on track.
ReplyDeleteI know I haven't known you all that long but I know you are a strong woman and I can tell that when you set your mind to do something you give all that you've got. You got this Janeen! And because of this post I will go to the gym instead of going straight home and relaxing like I was planning too :)
Awww, Anna! I love you! I definitely know I am not the only one to struggle with this "issue." I would just like to understand WHY??? Why is this soooo hard??? We all know what we "should" and "shouldn't" do...yet it's all to easy to do what is easy. Anyways, thank you for your support and I'm soooo glad you're going to the gym instead of going home. That's HUGE!!! Can't wait to see you again soon. *hugs*
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